Sexiest Man Alive – Talk Radio Edition

OK, so People magazine’s sexiest man alive for 2009 is Johnny Depp. Again. Yes, of course he’s hot and radically talented and he seems like a nice person. Fair enough.

But it got me thinking… Who is the sexiest man of talk radio this year?

Should be an easy decision. Radio guys are practically never nerdy, fat, bald, misogynistic, loud mouths with bad attitudes and drug problems.

Oh, wait. This may be harder than I thought.

Let’s see…

Bill Handel – Yeah, we’ll just cross him off right away.

John and/or Ken – No, thanks.

Randy Wang – Gag. (Just kidding, Randy. You’re just too young to be the sexiest man alive. And I may have heard way too many details about your personal life.)

Frank Kramer – Drugs.

Frosty Stilwell – Obviously not.

Malibu Dan – See Frank Kramer.

Luke Burbank – A strong possibility. Maybe next year.

Mr. KABC – Prior to Talk Radio One, he probably would have won. But he’s out. And he knows why – powder blue Crocs.

Plus he’s all vasovagal-ly.

Brian Whitman – A good contender, but seeing as how he’s not actually in talk radio at the moment, I think he’s disqualified.

I guess that just leaves one person…

The Sexiest Man Alive in Talk Radio is Timmy Conway, Jr., maaan.

Look at you, maaan. You’re a major stud.

I said it.