March » 2010 » I Heart Talk Radio

State of the Morning Show Address

There has been some discussion lately about the quality of the Bill Handel show. I very much appreciate Producer Michelle’s response to the negative comments on this site.

Every single day since Lara got fired seven months ago people have found my site by searching for her. That’s really saying something. She wasn’t with the show very long, she certainly was low on the totem pole, and as far as I know, she’s not even in radio anymore. And yet, people are still thinking about her and missing her presence on the show.

A radio show that spans decades is bound to go through ebbs and flows. I’m sure even you would agree, Michelle, that there have been better times than this. It’s obvious to me that the weak links here are Bill, Rich, and Hanna.

Let’s take them one at a time…

Hanna Scott - Really one of the worst additions to KFI in recent memory. A news department that has turned out such major, major studs as Eric Leonard, Laura Ingle and Jodi Becker has no business trying to pass Hanna off on us. That anachronistic (why do I keep using that word?) voice, the fake “I’m crass and sexy and one of the guys” attitude, and the Bill Handel ass kissing is super irritating.

Rich Marotta - Just past his prime. I’m sure he’s amazing with that boxing, but he’s just over. I hate sports but I loooove when Petros fills in.

King Bill - While he has had a long and successful radio career, the past few years have been less than stellar. He’s tired and uninspired so he just talks louder and relies more and more on contrived viewpoints. He’s really no different than Rush Limbaugh in that way. Just increase the volume and hit the talking points. Over and over.

He obviously doesn’t care about the show anymore. He has no interest in anyone but himself, he can’t navigate the show prep, and he takes off minutes early to go to the restroom. The failure of his 12-2 show is further evidence of his lack of motivation.

I’m soooo ready for Gary Hoffmann to succeed him.

Everything I need to know about the news I learn from Aron Bender

And Gary Hoffmann on Sundays. OK, and Eric Leonard for important breaking news. And a little bit from Peter Sagal.

But seriously. I used to listen to talk radio all day – KFI, KABC, KNX. I was always with the news. I knew everything that was happening.

Over the past year, however, my listening habits have moved away from live radio. As of today, I’m almost exclusively podcasting. Not that there isn’t any news on podcasts, it’s just that it’s old. And isn’t that what we don’t like about newspapers? Yesterday’s news and all?

So what’s a news junkie to do? There’s only so much entertaining nonsense a girl can take. (Ahem…Frosty, Heidi, and Frank) Eventually she’ll want to know about stuff – like has the health care bill passed? What is Nancy Pelosi’s approval rating? Has a whale eaten anyone lately?

In the last few weeks I’ve made an important self-discovery. I don’t NEED to know the news as it happens. What good has that ever done me? I can just wait until tomorrow when I download the Tim Conway, Jr. show and listen to that News Bender. It’s good enough.

WWMDD?

At the risk of revealing the location of my super secret talk radio bunker, I’ll say that I drive by the Mark Denis Melbourne Memorial Interchange nearly every day.

For the uninitiated, Mark Denis was an LA radio legend and the voice of KFI for many years. And, though I never met him personally, he was apparently not a huge egomaniacal jerk. You know how radio people LOVE to badmouth other radio people? I’ve heard tons of Mark Denis mentions over the years and I have never, ever heard a negative one.

But the other day I heard the most unique (and kinda geeky) Mark Denis compliment. Mr. KABC (OK, fine. Marc Germain.) revealed that when he doesn’t know what to do, he’ll ask himself…

What would Mark Denis do?

Yeah, I thought that was a pretty good idea. I wanted to try it myself. But then I remembered that I didn’t know Mark Denis so how am I supposed to know what he would do?

Still a quality idea though. So I thought to myself…Who do I know a lot about?

What would Frosty Stilwell do?

What would Brian Whitman do?

What would Dexter do?

What would Don Draper do?

What would Queen Elizabeth I do? Bingo.

WWQEID – now I need a bracelet.

P.S. I had to add those strikethrough HTML tags by hand – look at me!

Society for creative anachronism

One year ago all I wanted was for Frosty, Heidi, and Frank to be back on the radio. That’s not hyperbole – it was ALL I wanted.

Today – five months after they started at KABC – I feel kinda sorry for them.

It seems like every person who worked at KLSX – from Adam Carolla on down – is living their broadcasting dream. They’re on the cutting edge of talk radio technology with podcasts and live shows and Internet radio stations. They ARE the future of talk radio.

It’s like if, when you were a kid, everyone on your street had a brand-new hovercraft and your dad bought a new Cadillac. Sure, it’s new. And nice. And it’ll get you where you’re going. But for how long? Eventually the gas stations and freeways will disappear. And you’ll be stuck in that hot box.

So I can’t help but wonder (sorry for stealing that transition, Carrie Bradshaw), WHY do Frosty, Heidi, and Frank work at KABC? It’s so weird. I’ve tried to embrace it. I certainly support them.

But I can’t ignore it anymore. They don’t belong there. And I feel like I want to rescue them. Immediately.

(Of course…unlike the hovercrafters, they are actually getting paid…)

Chris, Carmen, Debra, Hanna

Lovers

So after like four years of carefully concealing the names of their life partners, both Frank and Heidi have accidentally revealed their true names.

Yeah, maaaan

If you only listen to one Pretty Good Podcast, you HAVE to listen to show #200 with Tim Conway, Jr. Seriously, you have to.

It’s like a requirement.

(Um, why does this post have no title?)

So since I’ve been busy being a super sexy single mom on a budget, in a Mad Men-Dexter-Californication coma and reading yet ANOTHER book about the wives of Henry VIII, I’ve missed blogging about some of the important talk radio news.

The Another Bill Handel Show Flames Out

Hahaha

OK, that was childish. But seriously, that show got boring-er and boring-er every day it aired. And it started out pretty boring.

Return of Doug McIntyre’s Red Eye Radio

RER is a talk radio institution. Finding the podcast, however, took a little digging. Here’s the feed. (Copy the URL; go to iTunes; go to Advanced > Subscribe to Podcast; Paste the URL; click OK)

ACE Broadcasting Network

Loving the Parent Experiment with Teresa Strasser and Lynette Carolla. I’ll likely not listen to Car Cast, Spider and the Henchman, Daves of Thunder, et al. but I think it’s AWESOME that they exist. Go Adam.

Multiple Choice

So where have I been?

a) Listening to AMP radio

b) In a Mad Men-Dexter-Californication coma

c) Rehab

d) Busy being a Super Sexy Single Mom on a Budget

e) Ensconced in (another) book about the wives of Henry VIII

OK, take your guess and I’ll be back with a better post tomorrow. Promise.

Really.

I put it on my Google calendar so it’s like…required now.

Oh and follow me on Twitter? @ihearttalkradio