That’s such a cute top

We’re friends, right?

I mean, I tell you fascinating information about talk radio and you in turn shower me with very sweet comments and emails. (No one ever IMs me though. FYI…you should.)

And because we’re besties, I’d like to tell you everything I did this weekend. Unfortunately, I’m not as open and transparent as I could be.

So here’s a list. 10 of these are true. Feel free to guess.

2 seasons of Everest: Beyond the Limit
1 book about North Korea
1 waffle sandwich
1 library visit
3 jackets worn simultaneously due to non-operating heater
7 shots of tequila
2 trips to Target
1 date with a creepy guy from Craigslist
10 hours of sleep in one night
1 episode of The Wire, Season 3
6 hours of Heidi and Frank
1 hickey
1 trip to Disneyland
4 awesome Beatles Rock Band performances

There you have it.

Friends forever,
Jen

How.about.a.nice.game.of.chess?

Here’s a list of awesome things I’ve learned from Jen Andrews of TBTL fame.

  • Always keep a bottle of champagne in your fridge.
  • Keep a big box of Kleenex in your car. In case of emergency, you can pee in it, then throw the box away.
  • If you’re sick but have to go to a party…one shot of peppermint schnapps plus two Advil and you’re good for exactly two hours.

So…Jen is kind of in charge of me right now. I’ll do whatever she says. And she spent Valentine’s day eating pizza with her husband and watching Ken Jennings and Bruce Rutter play Jeopardy against Watson, an IBM computer.

She also reminds us that in WarGames it only took Joshua a few rounds of tic-tac-toe to prove the futility of global thermonuclear war.

And that reminded me how much I love that movie. I love how David knows how to make his computer dial every number in Sunnyvale. I love how Jennifer is a little bit slutty. I love the WOPR. It’s all very, very, very awesome.

So take that, Ken Jennings?

My mother loved to twirl

You know how sometimes things are unexpectedly disappointing? Like…

Someone else bought the cabinet you so desperately wanted from HomeGoods so that you could upgrade your lifestyle by pretending you’re Kathleen Kelly. And now it belongs to someone who will most certainly NOT pretend to be Kathleen Kelly whilst using it – probably for something stupid like fake ferns, rusty watering cans, and candles they never light. Not awesome wine, IKEA napkins, and fresh cut daisies from the farmer’s market like you were going to. Or…

Your landlord decided to install a new mailbox and not give you a new key so you’ve been waiting with increasingly annoyed anticipation for six days to receive The Wire, Season 3 Disc 1 from Netflix. And you’re kind of forgetting about that crush you had on Stringer. Which is unfortunate because he is HOT. Or…

Your totally nice, Japanese-made car needed new brakes and a bunch of other stuff, which added up to $518, which you didn’t have so you had to lay a card down, which made you laugh a little bit to yourself when you used the phrase ‘lay a card down,’ but not enough to offset the unexpected disappointment of having to pay $518, which you would have had if you had listened to Dave Ramsey and had a $1000 ‘starter emergency fund’ instead of a ‘spend $1000 on a computer and new Coach bag’ plan.

Right?

Well, today was kinda like that with podcasts.

Too Beautiful to Live – No Jen.
Tim Conway, Jr. – Bryan Suits fill in.
Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me – Clip show. SPORTS clip show.
Heidi and Frank – Stay or go.

Meh.

Looking for Mr. Right

Hi!!! I’m a super fun party girl looking for love! I’m a total animal lover and I love to help people. So if you have a depressed cat, I think I’m the gurl for you!

I also like guys who are funny with a great sense of humor! I love to laugh! Some things I find hysterical are Ferrari’s, house’s in Malibu, boat’s, and Rolex’es! Oh, and I also love shoes!!! What can I say I’m a girl! LOL!!!

P.S. OMG!!! I think I found Mr. Right!!!

P.S.S. But still right back if you think I’m hot. Cuz you never know! LOL!!!

An old man turned ninety-eight

Good evening. Coming to you live from the Cr-48 Google Chrome OS notebook that showed up on my doorstep this afternoon.

Kid: Do you know what Cr-48 means?
Me: What?
Kid: It’s a Chromium isotope. The people that work at Google are REAL geeks.
Me: Indeed.

Alright…back to radio.

You know how Frosty, Heidi, and Frank could never understand the difference between irony and coincidence? Also, you know how they HATED being required to broadcast the Wing Bowl? And they cited Wing Bowl requirements as a big reason they’re glad to be Internet-radioing?

So last weekend Heidi and Frank hosted the Wing Bowl for KLOS. (Apparently, it’s a radio station that plays music? Yeah, I had never heard of it either.) And they think KLOS is courting them for a possible return to the real radio.

Is that irony or coincidence?

P.S. When do you think Heidi and Frank will merge with the Pretty Good Podcast? It seems imminent.

Nightly, beside the green, green grass

For me, this is the number two worst day of the year in talk radio. (Number one is the day everyone does – How much do you tip the mailman at the holidays?)

I don’t like any of the Super Bowl recaps. I don’t like the game recaps, I don’t like the National Anthem recaps, I don’t like the halftime show recaps. And I especially don’t like the commercial recaps.

Sorry for the wild negativity – I know it’s irritating. It’s not that I hate football or the people who love it. I don’t – honest! Rudy is totally one of my favorite movies.

It’s just that listening to “I only watched the commercials,” “I only watched the Puppy Bowl,” “The commercials this year were AWESOME,” “The commercials this year SUCKED”…All.Day.Long is so boring.

I TRIED to inject some fun into the proceedings this morning by tweeting this:

Jennifer Saunders

ihearttalkradio Jennifer Saunders

I’ll make out with any talk show host that does NOT talk about Super Bowl commercials today.

(WordPress won’t  let me put a line break here. Please ignore.)

Hmpf. It’s now 7:14pm. And so far…nothing. At this rate I might have to make out with George Noory.

Who wants that?

Well, George would. He would find me AMAZING. Just saying…

Perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.

“You know, if you don’t have a jones for Egypt, it’s a pretty slow news day.” ~Tim Conway, Jr.

I didn’t think I had a jones for Egypt. Yes, I’d like to have a general sense of what’s going on. Of course. But yeah, I don’t need to hear Walk Like an Egyptian or King Tut one more time. And I certainly don’t need to hear interviews with people who went on vacation to Egypt two years ago (ahem…Rob Marinko).

So I planned to fast-forward through Marc Germain’s interview with Kholoud, a 24-year old Egyptian chick. I’m so glad I didn’t – she’s awesome. I totally heart her. Download and listen please. (But also please ignore Marc when he tries to set her up with Justin Levine. Creeeeepy.)

“Who I think is the most fascinating person in the whole world, is a person who lives in North Korea.” ~Jen Andrews, Too Beautiful to Live

I don’t have an Egypt jones. But I kinda do have a North Korea jones. So I’ll be spending my free time drinking champagne and sending inappropriate texts reading Nothing to Envy by Barbara Demick. Wanna read it with me?

The world according to Aron Bender

No new post today?

Well…no. But it’s not like I don’t WANT to post something new. It’s just that…you know…I’m just letting yesterday’s post BREATHE.

P.S. How do we feel about the random all-caps words in sentences? I’m reading my boyfriend’s John Hodgman’s book, More Information Than You Require, and it’s a move he pulls. I think it’s rubbing off on me.