Wanna hear an awesome story in which I illustrate how smart and sophisticated I am?
Background: There’s this guy I see every week. And every time we see each other I’m reading something on my Kindle. Up until the other day, we had never spoken to each other.
OK, so…Sunday…
Him: What are you reading today?
Me: Um…Twilight?
Probably not the impression I wanted to make.
It’s true. Frosty left KFI. He says he promised himself he would stay in LA through the winter and, if he didn’t receive any full time job offers by spring, he’d go back to his original plan.
Which I think means moving to Colorado? And doing what? I don’t know.
Sorry, I meant to post this earlier but I was here. And that’s a view to rival any vacation Barry from Omaha could take.
So…last week President Obama waited until around 8:00 PDT to make the Osama is dead announcement. Please note that 8:00 PDT is decidedly AFTER the Frosty Stilwell program is over and definitely DURING the Wayne Resnick program.
And this week, Frosty is absent from his show, with his time being split between Bryan Suits and Wayne Resnick.
Coincidence? I think not.
Conclusion? President Obama is not a Frosty fan.
I am SO buying the president a Heidi and Frank gift membership.
P.S. Could the Heidi and Frank Website be any harder to navigate? It’s so cluttered and it makes no sense. I can never find what I’m looking for.
So today I was sitting in my cubicle fantasizing. This is nothing new. I’ll usually spend a few hours a day fantasizing. Fantasizing about super hot stuff like new shoes and iPads and days laying in the sun while being pleasured with super hard massages and alcoholic beverages.
But today I was fantasizing about Tim Conway, Jr. Yes, I know he’s the two-time winner of Sexiest Man Alive – Talk Radio Edition. But I don’t think I ever spent a lot of time thinking about his body.
Thinking about his porcelain skin and his candy lips and bubblegum tongue. About the way his hair falls in his face and his shape while crawling toward the pillowcase. And how he looks so good it hurts sometimes.
His body is TOTALLY a wonderland.
Tim, last night you inquired if any listeners were out there thinking about how your body is a wonderland.
The answer, obviously, is yes.
<super small font>P.S. Hi. It’s me. I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help it. I mean, Tim is great and all. Totally funny. And who can resist finding those Tom Bosley glasses endearing? I’ve never actually met Tim. I’m sure his body is fine. But a wonderland? Mmm…eh. But…shhh…don’t tell Tim. mkthx. :) </super small font>
I have LOTS of great ideas. For example, black-colored Kleenex so you can cry in movies and people won’t look at you. See, cuz it’s dark in there so the black Kleenex is camouflaged.
No good? Hmpf.
Luckily, I have a bunch more. How about one of my anthropological sociology ideas?
Like…if you want to find out if someone is younger than 30, just ask them – Do you like super sour candy? If they say yes, they’re under 30.
I can see you are thoroughly unimpressed. Be nice. I haven’t been sleeping much lately.
But here are some really, really great radio ideas for you…
Listen to last night’s (5/3/11) Tim Conway, Jr. Show – John Kerry song, making fun of Whitman, and Tim is going dancing with his cousins. It was like 2006. Only better.
Listen to Talk Radio One tomorrow night for the triumphant return of Natren Healthy Trinity’s number one spokesman – Al Rantel. Oh well, look…you know…