Nightmares of Monsters and Skeleton Heads

As you know, I am a member of several non-profit organizations. Perhaps the one I like best is called – People For Telling the Kids There is NO Trick or Treating This Year Cuz We’re Staying Home to Listen to Talk Radio Instead (PFTTKTINTOTTYCWSHTLTTRI).

Yeah, it’s a pretty awesome group. Though the money we have raised thus far has mostly been spent on having our nameplate engraved (they charge by the letter), and also on caramels (which we use to both bribe the children and keep them quiet during meetings).

On Halloween 2009 KFI did this Theatre of Doom special program, which was fairly cool. Chris Corley read some classic scary stories like The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. And I enjoyed it. I mean…I like books, I like people to read to me, I like guys with interesting voices who speak well. Good times.

On Halloween 2010 KFI decided to take what was charming about 2009 and ruin it with Bill Carroll. Because apparently, inconsistent use of a Scottish accent and marginal reading ability was what KFI thought was missing in 2009.

However, KFI is totally gonna make up for last year’s crappy Halloween broadcast. Because tonight, while Tim Conway, Jr. is out trick-or-treating (and getting parking tickets) with his daughter, ARON BENDER will host the show…or, progrm, rather.

And he probably won’t affect a Scottish accent at all.

Yay!

P.S. Here’s a picture of me in my best Halloween costume of all time. :)

I was dreamin when I wrote this

So last summer all my friends were posting on Facebook like crazy -

Wooo! Prince! Best concert ever!!!!!!!
(Seriously. That many exclamation points. They were nuts!!!)

And I was all -

That’s weird. I didn’t know William and/or Harry could sing. Hmpf…but…whatever.

I still don’t know if it was William or Harry they were so amped up about. I’m guessing Harry though cuz he’s cuter.

But anyway…

As excited as my friends were to see the Prince in concert, that is how excited I am to see JOHN HODGMAN in…concert? In reading? I’m not sure what it’s called.

What do you say when an author is on book tour? But it’s not really a book signing. Actually, I’m not exactly sure what is going to happen.

All I know is that JOHN HODGMAN will be at LARGO next Friday and SO WILL I.

P.S. If you have not listened to HIS PODCAST, you should do so immediately. It is one of the MOST IMPORTANT podcasts ever.

P.P.S. What should I wear?

P.P.P.S. Stop it! Do not say, “I don’t pay attention to women’s clothes” or “Wear nothing. Plus boots.” I need real help here.

P.P.P.P.S. If you want to come over and watch me try stuff on, let me know.

P.P.P.P.P.S. Am I gonna be the only girl at this event? Please advise.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Excuse me while I study my Hodgman. In my thermal chamber.

Going to the mattresses. Like…um…literally.

“Go to the mattresses.”

That’s a famous quote from The Godfather. It means that when a despicable, vile, corrupt, soul-less corporate bookstore chain swoops in and tries to take out your quaint, neighborhoody, full-of-heart-and-character little book shop, you should ask your journalist boyfriend to write about it in his column.

OK, fine. You caught me.

Yeeeeeesssss, everything I know about The Godfather I learned from You’ve Got Mail. I’ve never seen it. Whatever.

And now every guy reading this is like:

“You’ve never seen The Godfather?!?!? It’s the best movie ever made!!! Also The Godfather II. But not The Godfather III. That one sucks but you have to see it anyway.”

Got it.

Tonight my local movie theater is showing The Godfather as part of their Classic Movie Night series. And I fully intended to go. I was even totally excited about it.

Then I realized…I have no babysitter. And apparently it’s a rated R movie. I even checked the Common Sense rating on Netflix. “Iffy for 15-year olds.” Which I interpret to mean, “If you take your 12-year old to this movie, you will scar him for life and he’ll probably become a mobster.”

Fine. I’m not going. I’ll just stay home, get in bed, and watch The Godfather like a modern woman.

On my laptop.

Night!