KABC News: Eh, we never said we were that into it.

You know how when you’re reading The New York Times on Monday morning and they’re like -

An Italian cruise ship ran aground on Friday. We were kinda busy this weekend so that’s like all we know now. If you want more information, maybe you can come back later today or tomorrow or something?

Well, probably more like tomorrow afternoon because, you know, today is Monday. And I HATE Mondays.

So….I’ll probably be able to get some more details on this boat thing like mid-morning Tuesday? And then right after lunch I’ll type somethin’ up for ya. Mkay?

Yeah, I mean, I guess if you want to know more RIGHT NOW (sheesh!) you could read another newspaper or online news site. I suppose some of their reporters have like NO life and spent time over the weekend actually monitoring this story.

But c’mon, it’s not like we’re a NEWSpaper or anything….. Oh….right.

Okay, fine. How ’bout some Golden Globes news then? Well, Ricky Jervayis was the host….or, something like that anyway. You can’t honestly expect me to know how to spell his name. I told you -

I-was-bus-y-this-week-end.

No? That’s not how The New York Times covered these events? How odd. I just thought since they’re a news source and KABC is supposedly a news source, they’d have a similar work ethic. Apparently not.

Terri-Rae Elmer revealed on air that this morning was her first time seeing the shipwreck pictures. She also had no idea how to pronounce Ricky Gervais’ name.

Seriously, T-Rae? I thought you were supposed to be the news anchor. The big-shot KFI news anchor that brings all the credibility and listeners and awards and stuff. And you’re not even TRYING to be good at your new job?!

That is bullshit.

P.S. Please forgive my un-ladylike language.

P.P.S. Doug, you’re a big stud. Sorry.