10. Drink about eight cups of coffee.
9. Read The Hairpin and see what they know.
8. Discover they know The Neverending Story is actually a book, not just an AWESOME movie.
7. Feel dumb for not knowing that. Check on eBay for a first edition copy of The Neverending Story. Find one for $107. Decide that’s a little excessive. Buy a new hardcover edition on Amazon for $14. Feel good about saving $93.
6. Borrow a free book from the Amazon Prime Kindle lender’s library. Feel very environmental. Also thrifty.
5. Wonder why I now feel sicker. Realize it’s probably the eight cups of coffee and no food. Press on. No whining allowed.
4. Read borrowed Kindle book in its entirety. Realize it’s actually more like a novella than an actual novel.
3. Watch four episodes of Downton Abbey. Ponder if O’Brien’s more subdued series two sideburns are supposed to make her appear more sympathetic. Continue falling in love with Anna and Mr. Bates.
2. Try to write a clever blog post recapping TBTL’s 1000th show. Realize I’m not that clever. Or interesting. Also realize my throat is on fire and every sneeze feels like it’s trying to kill me.
1. Give up. Go to bed. Night!
That is my list exactly, except replace the word “coffee” with “Tequila”.
I hate saying it but my things to do when I am home sick is:
1 – THE MAURY show with the paternity tests
2 – DIVORCE COURT
3 – MAURY afternoon show with the paternity tests
4 – PEOPLE’S COURT
5 – JUDGE JUDY