#tigerblood

Yo. The following people have #tigerblood.

John Hodgman – Seriously. Have you been listening to his podcast? It’s so #winning that I have to save it up and only let myself listen to it on special occasions. Like when I’m radically depressed from watching this movie, even though I should have known better because when I read the book I was in such a depression coma that I had to…listen to John Hodgman? I’m pretty sure THIS* is the brand new circle of life.

Wayne Resnick – Is there something better than #tigerblood? Because if there is, Wayne has that instead. If you don’t believe me, look at this picture of him and try not to have tears fill your eyes. I’m pretty sure that’s the body’s autonomic response to viewing faces of perfection. And he likes cappuccinos. Which #animalswithbloodbetterthantigers looooooove.

Todd Wilson – Also known as Mr. Magnificent. I think he has #tigerblood? I mean, he makes me laugh. Does that count? Are #tigers funny? I’m also not totally sure what’s going on with his eyebrows. Do #tigers have eyebrows? Let’s agree to table this one for now. #tigerbloodstatusuncertain

*See what I did there? I was writing about John Hodgman, a man who LOVES all-caps words and I ALL-CAPPED the word ‘this.’ Get it? Hey! I think maybe I have #tigerblood! Huh? OK, fine. #dorkblood.

How.about.a.nice.game.of.chess?

Here’s a list of awesome things I’ve learned from Jen Andrews of TBTL fame.

  • Always keep a bottle of champagne in your fridge.
  • Keep a big box of Kleenex in your car. In case of emergency, you can pee in it, then throw the box away.
  • If you’re sick but have to go to a party…one shot of peppermint schnapps plus two Advil and you’re good for exactly two hours.

So…Jen is kind of in charge of me right now. I’ll do whatever she says. And she spent Valentine’s day eating pizza with her husband and watching Ken Jennings and Bruce Rutter play Jeopardy against Watson, an IBM computer.

She also reminds us that in WarGames it only took Joshua a few rounds of tic-tac-toe to prove the futility of global thermonuclear war.

And that reminded me how much I love that movie. I love how David knows how to make his computer dial every number in Sunnyvale. I love how Jennifer is a little bit slutty. I love the WOPR. It’s all very, very, very awesome.

So take that, Ken Jennings?

My mother loved to twirl

You know how sometimes things are unexpectedly disappointing? Like…

Someone else bought the cabinet you so desperately wanted from HomeGoods so that you could upgrade your lifestyle by pretending you’re Kathleen Kelly. And now it belongs to someone who will most certainly NOT pretend to be Kathleen Kelly whilst using it – probably for something stupid like fake ferns, rusty watering cans, and candles they never light. Not awesome wine, IKEA napkins, and fresh cut daisies from the farmer’s market like you were going to. Or…

Your landlord decided to install a new mailbox and not give you a new key so you’ve been waiting with increasingly annoyed anticipation for six days to receive The Wire, Season 3 Disc 1 from Netflix. And you’re kind of forgetting about that crush you had on Stringer. Which is unfortunate because he is HOT. Or…

Your totally nice, Japanese-made car needed new brakes and a bunch of other stuff, which added up to $518, which you didn’t have so you had to lay a card down, which made you laugh a little bit to yourself when you used the phrase ‘lay a card down,’ but not enough to offset the unexpected disappointment of having to pay $518, which you would have had if you had listened to Dave Ramsey and had a $1000 ‘starter emergency fund’ instead of a ‘spend $1000 on a computer and new Coach bag’ plan.

Right?

Well, today was kinda like that with podcasts.

Too Beautiful to Live – No Jen.
Tim Conway, Jr. – Bryan Suits fill in.
Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me – Clip show. SPORTS clip show.
Heidi and Frank – Stay or go.

Meh.

An old man turned ninety-eight

Good evening. Coming to you live from the Cr-48 Google Chrome OS notebook that showed up on my doorstep this afternoon.

Kid: Do you know what Cr-48 means?
Me: What?
Kid: It’s a Chromium isotope. The people that work at Google are REAL geeks.
Me: Indeed.

Alright…back to radio.

You know how Frosty, Heidi, and Frank could never understand the difference between irony and coincidence? Also, you know how they HATED being required to broadcast the Wing Bowl? And they cited Wing Bowl requirements as a big reason they’re glad to be Internet-radioing?

So last weekend Heidi and Frank hosted the Wing Bowl for KLOS. (Apparently, it’s a radio station that plays music? Yeah, I had never heard of it either.) And they think KLOS is courting them for a possible return to the real radio.

Is that irony or coincidence?

P.S. When do you think Heidi and Frank will merge with the Pretty Good Podcast? It seems imminent.

Perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are.

“You know, if you don’t have a jones for Egypt, it’s a pretty slow news day.” ~Tim Conway, Jr.

I didn’t think I had a jones for Egypt. Yes, I’d like to have a general sense of what’s going on. Of course. But yeah, I don’t need to hear Walk Like an Egyptian or King Tut one more time. And I certainly don’t need to hear interviews with people who went on vacation to Egypt two years ago (ahem…Rob Marinko).

So I planned to fast-forward through Marc Germain’s interview with Kholoud, a 24-year old Egyptian chick. I’m so glad I didn’t – she’s awesome. I totally heart her. Download and listen please. (But also please ignore Marc when he tries to set her up with Justin Levine. Creeeeepy.)

“Who I think is the most fascinating person in the whole world, is a person who lives in North Korea.” ~Jen Andrews, Too Beautiful to Live

I don’t have an Egypt jones. But I kinda do have a North Korea jones. So I’ll be spending my free time drinking champagne and sending inappropriate texts reading Nothing to Envy by Barbara Demick. Wanna read it with me?

I Heart Luke and Vanessa

I really, really love them.

So I kinda get the feeling that even though I write about Too Beautiful to Live fairly regularly, I’m the only one in SoCal who’s listening.

This is a tragedy.

Last Wednesday (1/19/11) they posted the second installment of – Making Dinner with Luke and Vanessa. (Or, we kinda don’t have a show today, let’s just press Record while we make dinner.)

I’m totally serious, you guys. These shows are AMAZING. And I’m pretty sure I need to be them when I grow up. And when I say grow up, I mean go back five years, move into a house in Seattle with too many steps out front, listen to NPR, watch Antiques Roadshow, drink Chateau Ste. Michelle wine, and make recipes out of the New York Times.

Also, I might have to get super wasted at karaoke and start fights with people. We’ll see what happens.

Adam Carolla on Sirius. Serious.

OK. So I heard this on Friday when I listened to the Adam Carolla Show episode with Dave Dameshek. (Funny that spell check has a problem with Carolla but not Dameshek.) But, I guess I forgot I heard it. And just now remembered.

Anyway, yeah. Starting tomorrow (I think?) the Adam Carolla Show will be aired live on Howard Stern’s Sirius channel. Two hours, including commercials. Podcast still available free as normal.

Btw, I was just reading through the relevant thread on the Howard Stern message board, something I’ve never done before. Interesting discovery – lots of people place a major emphasis on show guests. As in…I only listen to ACS if there is a good guest.

Maybe it’s just me, but I think guests are the weakest link of any podcast or radio show. With very few exceptions, I kinda hate every guest.

Being good on talk radio is a specific skill and doesn’t necessarily translate to just any actor, comedian, celebrity doctor, arachnid expert, or Hooters chick.

Hey guess what

Gabe from the office has a podcast-sized hole in his heart.

http://www.hulu.com/embed/dGrcwTF2GfXpp1PiUDipVg

I’m so grateful my podcast heart hole is filled.

P.S. Um…I suck. That video was embedded for like…a second. You should click the link and watch it anyway. Only 1:38 out of your life.

C for Effort, F for Execution

You guys, I’m super sorry about yesterday’s post. Talk about dumb…

OK, fresh start. Please know there will be no further references to Jane Austen (or any other author you were forced to read in 10th grade). Though the offer for private tutoring still stands.

Back in the old Mr. KABC days, one of the frequently asked questions was this.

My wife is making me take her out dancing. How can I set a timer to record your show?

As always, he had the answer. I never tried it myself, but Mr. K would walk these desperate dudes through setting up a kind of ghetto TiVo for the radio using a VCR, duct tape, and paperclips.

Me? I just tried to stay home at night. Looking back…that seems like a bad decision. I’m better now. Promise.

And anyway, we don’t need grTiVo (ghetto radio TiVo…pronounced grrrrr-TiVo) now that we have podcasts. You can take your wife out to any lame place she wants to go and catch all your radio shows later.

This is awesome. Most of the time.

Other times you’re listening to a days-old Tim Conway, Jr. show and Aron Bender calls you out for tweeting that you had a dream about Steve Gregory.

Thanks, Bender.

And…yeah. I sometimes dream about radio people. So what? That’s totally normal.

P.S. Please listen to my boyfriend Steve Gregory on the Pretty Good Podcast. Super hot interesting.

Look, I can’t quote Shakespeare every day…

I actually have a ton of work to do… So just a few random updates, unconnected to any scene in Hamlet, LA Story, Gidget, Harry Potter, Mary Tyler Moore, or the Brady Bunch. Also unrelated to any Tudor queen or princess or Elizabethan courtesan.

I’m sorry. You can give me the Dr. Drew disappointed face now.

Pretty Good Podcast

Throw some money at those studs and get that Conway Superfecta, maaan. You have a few extra bucks in your paycheck now that Social Security withholdings have been reduced from 6.2% to 4.2%.

Marc Germain

Don’t try to tell us the mainstream media isn’t covering the Dr. Murray trial. Fine, you want to promote this nutty ‘Betsy Ross’ broad you’re having on your show again, but come on… KFI is totally on it.

KFI NEWS

KFI NEWS

Eric @ Crim Courts – Jackson doc waited 1 hr, 17 min to call for help. Latest live @ 4p news – then 4:05 w/John and Ken.
Eric @ Crim Courts – latest on Michael Jackson’s doctor prelim – live at 12:50 w/Bill Carroll: doc ordered gallons of drug that killed MJ


Teresa Strasser

Congratulations on the movie option!