First Wives Club

I used to think that no one could make Marc Germain laugh louder, more authentically, and just – more – than April Winchell. The two of them together was always radio magic.

But in recent years it seems they’ve grown apart. You know how it goes. First you start using separate blankets in bed and before you know it you’re staying up late and “falling asleep on the couch while watching TV” nearly every night.

Enter Dina Losito.

Last summer Dina (in this metaphor, the new chick at work who thinks you’re all smart and sexy* and interesting) joined Marc’s show – reinvigorating Marc and making him laugh again.

It’s 11:00pm Saturday night and I’m listening to a Marc-April reunion on Red Eye Radio (streaming from some station in Alabama – WAPI).

Dina, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Marc likes his new girl better.

They always do.

*This is obviously a misguided metaphor because we all know Dina doesn’t find Marc sexy. At. All. No, not because she’s a lesbian. It’s the powder blue Crocs and Vasovagal response. Duh.

I heart Amazon Prime

Look what I got today…

(Please ignore the tired, bobby-pinned hair, no-makeup look I’ve got going on. I’ve been staying up WAY too late. But still getting up for that Bill Handel 5am hour. A girl has to have priorities…)

So remember when KFI used to let people be funny? I know, it’s been a while. But it’s true. Really.

One of the funniest people to ever to host a show on KFI is April Winchell. So funny, in fact, that I used to tune in every week and think – Does KFI know this show is on their station?

Anyway, April is super smart, funny, talented, majorly hot fiance…blah, blah, blah…the whole run. But at one point not too long ago, she was so hard up for cash that she was forced to play Internet truth-or-dare.

You know…you send her money and she’ll do stuff. Like tell devastating personal stories about her father* or flash the butcher at Gelson’s. (Hey, don’t judge. It’s what we all would do.)

So I’m totally happy that her website, Regretsy, has become, like, an Internet sensation. Snarky comments about crappy crafts and poor grammar? Yes, please! And no one does that better than April.

It’s like they invented Etsy just for her.

*Please don’t ask her about her father.

For no reason

Top 10 Funniest People in Talk Radio of All Time

These are the people who make me (or made me – some ain’t so funny these days – but don’t worry, I’m not talking about you Brian) laugh out loud, sometimes so hard I’m crying and I can’t breathe.

10.  Tod Perry

9.  Gary Hoffmann

8.  Howard Stern

7.  Teresa Strasser

6.  Rob Marinko

5.  Frosty Stilwell

4.  Phil Hendrie

3.  April Winchell

2.  Brian Whitman

1.  Tim Conway, Jr.

Platters of verisimilitude

So all my favorite bloggers are getting book deals. First it was Teresa Strasser with Exploiting My Baby, then it was Jenna at Eat, Live, Run. Now April Winchell has signed a book deal for Regresty.

While I think it’s AWESOME and I’m totally excited for them, it does compel me to pose these questions.

What gives Random House?

Where’s my book deal?

I know what you’re thinking. Perhaps pregnancy and motherhood, healthy living and recipes, and clever reviews of weird homemade crap have a slightly broader appeal than the happenings of talk radio shows and podcasts based mostly in Los Angeles. Slightly.

But, come on, there is important analysis to be done. Like who should replace John Batchelor on KFI. Or comparisons of talk radio hosts to people in history and pop culture and classical literature.

And, really, who else is going to do it?

P.S.  Please don’t ask April about her father.

Caballeros del amor

Or, I’m the brand new Andy Rooney.

Do you ever wonder where podcasts are recorded?

Adam Carolla records in his super garage or warehouse. The Pretty Good Podcast – Randy’s studio apartment in Valley Village. Low Budget Radio – a garage in Korea Town.

Frosty, Heidi and Frank rent studio time at a real recording studio. The former bobsled recorded in Brian Whitman’s backyard in Toluca Lake. (BTW, I could never live in Toluca Lake. It sounds OK, but Toluca is radically ugly when typed.)

So I listened to April Winchell’s newest podcast today. (It’s great – definitely check it out.) When Talk Radio One was in its infancy, April would sit on the couch with a towel over her head and Skype with Marc.

But just as the Jeffersons moved on up to that de-luxe apartment in the sky, April has upgraded her podcasting set-up. Like a modern-day Mary Tyler Moore (What’s with all the ’70s TV references?), she’s thrown that oppressive towel in the air and now sits unencumbered in an actual chair.

In the closet.

Who can turn the world on with her smile…

Zapruder humor is timeless

So what’s going on in podcast land?

Brian Whitman (Website still hacked. Randy, please help him out. For old times’ sake. Pleeeease. Is Don on the phone?)

This guy flamed out on a pretty cool bodcast. Now he’s decided he needs about 50 jobs.

Glenn Beck Voices, producing, writing.

www.rick.com Hosting a morning music show.

Fake Leykis Podcast (only one so far)  Brian, PLEASE turn off comments on your website. You’re only asking for trouble.

Pay him $20 to give your outgoing voicemail message.

April Winchell

New podcast today! I don’t know if this will be a regular thing, but enjoy it while it lasts.

Pretty Good Podcast

This really is a pretty good podcast. Check out the Jennifer Conway episode. It’s great – I’ve listened to it twice.

Low Budget Radio

These guys are real nerdy. Listen to the “Dear Gina Grad” episode for some funny George Noory humor. And when isn’t George Noory funny?

KLSX riff-raff podcasts

Randy Wang has become the king of the fringe podcast. He’s producing (OK, he’s recording and posting) a bunch of new podcasts.

Malibu Dan and Chrysta

The Single Life Podcast

AdaMacaDocious Podcast (I’m copying Randy’s capitalization here, don’t blame me.)

Marc Germain

Marc had Teresa Strasser (I love that you can type her entire name with your left hand. If you don’t use capital letters. Or if you have radical control of your little finger.) on as a guest last week.

Tonight’s guest is Bethenny Frankel from Real Housewives of New York City. This guy has a major Real Housewives jones, man.

If Randy is the king of the riff-raff, Talk Radio One is a haven for people who were fired from KABC. Who knew there would be such a market?

Un-Skype this lad, please.

Don’t ask her about her father

Wing enthusiast, Hunchback of Notre Dame II and Mulan II voice actress (she’s never in the first one), and sometime creator of strange stuffed dolls, April Winchell is working on something new. She’s trying to make money on her hugely popular website.

So what is April whoring selling?

How about ads for only $20? Sounds good to me. (As of this writing, you have to donate more than $50 to the Pretty Good Podcast just to get your name on their site!)

She’s also selling premium MP3 downloads. No, not German covers of I Walk the Line – she’ll still lay those on you for nothing. More like highlights of her KFI radio career for only $1! Believe me, she once posted a picture of her W2 – she barely got paid more than that originally.

By the way, April is scheduled to be on Marc Germain’s show on Friday night. So check it out. (UPDATE: This is looking unlikely, but stay tuned. Marc’s planning on having that ketchup-stealing lunatic on. I don’t know how reliable he is.)

And to all you old KLSX fans, I think you’d love April. She was once the 21st funniest person in the world, or maybe just in Los Angeles (I can’t remember, something like that). And she exposed herself to the butcher at Gelson’s. So there’s your Flash Friday angle.

Would it bother you if the plastic people were eating applesauce?

I am Barbaro

Mark this date – 20 April 2009. (I’m using British convention since I’m still stuck in anglophile mode. See this and this.) Jack Silver filled in for Frosty on FHFU today and he was actually funny!

I don’t know if it’s the engagement or the unemployment but it seems that Jack has been humbled a little bit. Maybe it’s the lack of lunches at The Palm with Tom Leykis. I don’t know.  But it was a pleasant surprise to hear Jack be sensitive with the callers and their relationship problems.

OK, so maybe he wasn’t that sensitive – I think his photo’s still on the wall over at Frosty’s joint, if you know what I mean.

I could never do this job – it’s too funny.

P.S. Congratulations April Winchell!

Cue the Chicken Yodel

Or, there is no TiVo for radio.

The widespread podcasting of broadcasted radio shows is a relatively new phenomenon. But what happened to those countless hours of pre-podcasting talk radio history? We (OK, maybe it’s just me) would like to think they were painstakingly preserved and are now stacked neatly at the Museum of Television and Radio. And available for everyone to enjoy.

Uh, no.

Some talk show hosts recorded their shows on cassette, tossed them in boxes, threw the boxes in the shed and piled old binoculars and telescopes on them. (Frosty, I’m talking to you here.)

Other talk show hosts only kept tapes of their important interviews and allowed the regular shows to be lost somewhere in the AM radio-time continuum. (Ahem, Mr. KABC.)

Still other hosts kept tapes of their shows and tossed them in boxes. But were lucky enough to find them – in this post-modern, overly digitized age – still in serviceable condition. And were even luckier that someone was willing to convert them all to MP3s. And we, the listeners, are luckier still that they (OK, her. I’m only talking about one person here.) have made those shows available to us.

April Winchell has been posting her old KFI shows from the early 00s on her website. It’s not often you can hear an AM talk show with topics like…

We need a fundraiser to mend a sandwich mascot’s costume.

I just learned how to burn a CD.

Let’s give away hams on Yom Kippur!

Also, you Mr. KABC fans will be happy to know that April has the shows she did with him at KABC posted on her website, too. I guess real Mr. K fans already know this – they’ve been there for years. But if you’re a new fan, or just nostalgic, give those a listen. They’re the best!

Here’s a quote from one I listened to today.

That’s why people don’t steal from Whole Foods. Because there are warheads in the meat department.

You want to listen. I know you do.

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