KFI AM 640 – More Homogeneous Talk Radio

Today’s the big day! Are you excited?

Today is the day KFI tells us, the listeners, what we like. You know, how we love more and more of the same. How we don’t like new shows. Or new hosts. We don’t say, “Why did Lara Hermanson get fired?” or “What happened to the Dr. Laura show?” or “I miss Tim and Neil” or “What really happened between John Kobylt and John Ziegler?”

No way!

Instead we say (come on everybody, chant along)…

We like Bill Handel!

We like John and Ken!

Give us more!

Starting this week, KFI is giving us what we always wanted.

Coast to Coast…51 hours a week.

Bill Handel…35 hours a week.

John and Ken…28 hours a week.

Tim Conway, Jr…2 hours a week. (He’s new and interesting. We aren’t allowed to like him too much yet. KFI says we can only like him two hours a week. Unless someone goes on vacation. Then we’re allowed to like him a little more.)

Wait, I’m confused. Is this their attempt at socialized talk radio programming?

I thought KFI said we didn’t like socialism.

Sorry Suzanne, your radio boyfriend is done with talk radio or talk radio might be done with him

So last week I decided to subscribe to John Ziegler’s podcast. I caught up on some old episodes. I remembered why I liked John. I heard a fascinating story about his fiance returning her engagement ring for, oh nothing, the FIFTH time. Good times.

And then, before you can say “I heart Sarah Palin,” he flamed out.

Bad vibes, man.

Unlike KABC (who did not podcast Al Rantel’s final show), KGIL has made John Ziegler’s final show (8/14/09) available to download. Hurry on over to iTunes before they pull it.

I’m getting extremely tired of writing about the demise of local talk radio shows. I’m getting extremely frustrated with Los Angeles talk radio stations selling out to bland nationally syndicated nonsense. And I’m getting extremely weary of the “it’s cheaper” excuse.

And if KGIL cancels its fishing show, I’m just going to explode! (Seriously, there’s a fishing show?)

Is Dr. Laura the brand new Professor Trelawney?

On August 11, 2009 between 8:30 and 9:00 Bill Handel called Dr. Laura out as a liar.

As I listened to Bill go on and on yesterday about how Dr. Laura did NOT leave KFI of her own free will, how she did NOT have a contract with KFI, and that no one would willingly go from a 50,000 watt to a 5,000 watt station, I was puzzled.

I wondered why a nationally syndicated radio show would not have a legal contract with the stations that carry the show. (Is that what Handel on the Law would recommend?) I wondered why Dr. Laura would lie about this. And I wondered why KFI would care if she did lie. I mean, she’s a old lady with 21 years’ worth of history at the station. Can’t they let her save face (if that’s what she was attempting to do)? I thought, how does it benefit KFI to trash Dr. Laura?

This morning I had my light bulb moment.

Of course KFI would want to marginalize Dr. Laura! She has tons of loyal listeners. If those listeners see how KFI treated their morality guru and follow her over to KFWB, who will listen to this stupid “high-bread” show?

If KFI can metaphorically strip Dr. Laura of her fancy jeans, blouse, and custom-made rhinestone cowboy boots (Is that still the look she’s pulling these days?) and leave her exposed for all to mock and ridicule, no one will listen to KFWB.

Classy.

Wait, when did I get all John Ziegler-y?

Get ready, Suzanne – Your radio boyfriend is back on the air.

Former KFI evening host and John Kobylt’s nemesis, John Ziegler is returning to those SoCal airwaves. Beginning June 8, you can find John on KGIL (what?) 1260AM (does the AM dial go up that high?) from 11am – 1pm.

“More libertarian than conservative, more conservative than liberal, more cynical and skeptical than anything else,”  John is extremely passionate and moderately crazy. In other words, good radio.

Here’s my favorite John Ziegler story…

(Leah Brandon was the news person during his show on KFI.)

John: Where were you last night?

Leah: I was out with my friends. Why?

John: I called you and you didn’t call me back.

Leah: I know, I was out with my friends. What did you want?

John: I wanted to see if you wanted to go to the movies with me.

Leah: Oh, I’m sorry. I was out.

John: I thought you were my best friend?!?!?

(John, I know you’re into radical accuracy. The above conversation is not a direct transcript. It is recalled from my memory, which I admit, may be faulty.)

Oh, and he’s also majorly into Tiger Woods. Well, maybe not. The website is down.

Do I even get this station? Let’s see… Barely. I guess I can listen online.