Or, Occam’s Razor.
I’m not good at a lot of things.
I’m a bad gardener – I always forget to water the plants. I’m bad at directions – I need Google Maps AND a GPS to find anything. I’m a bad camper – I don’t like being dirty, I don’t like those stupid chairs, and I always get lost without remembering to bring with me a flashlight full of beans. And, as my son will tell you, I’m bad at quantum physics. (Seriously, how am I supposed to know that Newton’s Laws don’t apply at the quantum level???)
But one (admittedly, pathetic) thing I’m pretty good at is predicting the programming changes in talk radio.
So…now that Frosty, Heidi and Frank are fired, the next question is: Who will replace them?
Here are my predictions, in order of likely-ness.
#1 Mr. KABC
He’s the one who has been doing the most fill-in work on the station lately, he’s good, he works cheap, he’s a beloved Southern California radio icon. And his NAME is, like, Mr. KABC. That has to mean something.
Oh…and…on Friday night he got all vasovagal-y when Sharon the Gossip Mom brought up the possibility.
#2 John Phillips
Boring. Boring. Boring. But KABC seems to love love love putting him in that 9-12 slot.
(Yes, I realize this would leave another empty time slot. But I can’t be in charge of every time slot right now. Maybe after I catch up on Mad Men.)
#3 Al Rantel
Kind of a dream choice. I have no idea if he’s ready to come back to work full-time. But he sure sounds good on those Natren Healthy Trinity commercials.
#4 Re-shuffle of the schedule where one of the above is hired, but in a different time slot.
Putting this option on the list because I learned from Tim Conway, Jr. you gotta box that trifecta, maan. (I’m not exactly sure what that means but I think it applies here??)
#5 Infomercial or some lame nationally-syndicated show
This might actually be more likely than #5 but I refuse to put it higher on the list. This option would make me forget that KABC was ever a station.