Telegrams! Pussy Willows!

Like most normal people, I’m on vacation this week. And I’m doing some fun stuff. Mostly eating. For example, this was the setting of my breakfast this morning.But while you and I are dining on beignets and lobster bisque and souffle and drinking wine in a restaurant designed by Pirates of the Caribbean ride people, there’s a lot of great stuff going on radio-wise.

So if you’re still in the midst of your holiday depression, please know that radio is pulling for you.

xoxo
JMS

Must Love Dogs

About Me

I’m a nice, sweet, easy-going chick who enjoys long walks on the beach and conversations with great friends. I like the Internet and ooTunes and iHeartRadio and RSS feeds. I like not having to click any buttons on a Web page.

I like Twitter and Facebook chat. I’m also really good at creating Facebook groups.

I like people from Omaha, lawyers who wear yellow-tinted glasses, news legends who love ice cream sundaes and kittens equally, people with lap-bands who hate food, women from Orange County who make the best mixed drinks, guys who give The Muppets a perfect 10, fish oil advocates, online researchers, quadriplegics, and black ops.

I recently ended a 23-year relationship with my Internet radio show and I’m ready to start looking again. I will never give up on the possibility of true Internet radio show LOVE.

I’m available SOME weeknights from 8-10pm Pacific. I’ll even make myself available at 7 for the right show.

So message me back if you think we’ll hit it off. xoxo

P.S. I give great back rubs.

Sexiest Man Alive – Talk Radio Edition 2011

Each changing place with that which goes before,
In sequent toil all forwards do contend.

That’s from Sonnet 60, in which Shakespeare talks about the passing of time. Seriously – In sequent toil all forwards do contend?!?! Eeeeeffffff, that’s hot.

Well, I’m dumb. So I can’t write about the passing of time like that. I can only write about it as it relates to People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive announcement. Woooooooo! (Think Shakespeare ever wrote woooooooo in one of his sonnets? No? Frankly, I think some of them would have been better for it.)

So…another year, another guy. This year…Bradley Cooper, looking very Ralph Fiennes-in-Quiz Show-esque on the cover of People. I’m in.

That settled…let’s get to the important announcement. The reason you’re all here. The news you’ve been waiting for.

Sexiest Man Alive – Talk Radio Edition

The contenders:

Luke Burbank
I love a guy with a new ‘life plan’ every few days. Only Eat Turkey and Pickles Plan…Drink Tea Not Coffee Plan…No Napping Plan. Adorable. And he listens to NPR. Sexy.

Rob Marinko
Rob was nominated by another dude. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) But yeah, I’d let him drive my car 100mph. (That is not a euphemism.)

Neil Saavedra
If this contest was decided by the votes of my real life friends, Neil would win hands down. For reals. All my friends are in love with Neil. And they’re right – he’s a major stud.

Michael Crozier
Ooofah…that’s good, btw.

Aron Bender
C’mon. Aron ran marathons with asthma AND a deviated septum. He’s like a superhero. Also, he knows everything. Super hot.

But for me, there’s nothing sexier than a man with S-shaped posture, who has a radical gambling jones, who knows every street name in that valley, who orders off the senior menu at IHOP, who takes his daughter to the Gene Autry Museum.

And who also makes me laugh out loud every single night.

Sexiest Man in Talk Radio 2011:  Tim Conway, Jr. 

P.S. If I know you in real life and you’re not on this list, don’t be sad. It’s only because you already know how sexy I think you are.

P.P.S. 2010

P.P.P.S. 2009

Um…excuse me…Mr. Marinko…

I don’t mean to interrupt your nights of football watching, gambling, drinking, cocktail waitress flirting, Sharon’s sister sexually harassing, ice cream sundae eating, butt dialing, Facebook flame war inciting, computer breaking, computer shooting, wife’s ass kissing, bad car deal complaining, midnight snack eating, cat rescuing, pain pill popping, sleep apnea denying, squelched out whining, secret eating, and wife’s money spending…but…

GET THE EFF BACK TO WORK!

Fine – it’s not a real job. I get it. But seriously, how hard is it shoot the ess with your friends for a couple hours?

And this Justin Levine is soooo going after your fake job. He’s all, “I’ll do the news! Pick me! Pick me!”

But the thing is, Rob. No one wants to pick him. Everyone wants you. Why do you have to be so god damned difficult?

Now…back to work with you!

For no reason

Top 10 Funniest People in Talk Radio of All Time

These are the people who make me (or made me – some ain’t so funny these days – but don’t worry, I’m not talking about you Brian) laugh out loud, sometimes so hard I’m crying and I can’t breathe.

10.  Tod Perry

9.  Gary Hoffmann

8.  Howard Stern

7.  Teresa Strasser

6.  Rob Marinko

5.  Frosty Stilwell

4.  Phil Hendrie

3.  April Winchell

2.  Brian Whitman

1.  Tim Conway, Jr.