We have to write an essay on Stanley Miles.

When my son was seven years old, he spent his Christmas money on a box set of NASA DVDs. He cherished them, insisting they be kept locked in a fireproof safe when not in use. For months he would tell me, “It was so nice of NASA to make these DVDs!!! I’m just SO thankful!!!”

It’s that kind of simple and innocent gratitude we should all have this time of year.

So in addition to being super thankful to NASA for their totally awesome DVDs, I’m also thankful for…

Jen Andrews from TBTL for writing:  If you don’t get why Harry Potter matters, I would remind you that Dobby is a free elf, that “expelliarmus” is the spell used by someone who knows that love is always the answer, and that Percy can always come home.

Trader Joe’s for the sweet potato fries. And the pumpkin butter.

Steve Martin for joining Twitter and for writing another book. Oh, and for tweeting about Leo Laporte. More than once.

Dina Losito and Barry from Omaha for the alternate show during the show.

Randy Wang and Tim Conway, Jr. for the awesomest promos in talk radio.

My MacBook because…obviously.

Adam Shankman for loving dance.

Kelly Dylla and Suzanne Boxdorfer for making the symphony so much fun this summer. #pstweetcert

Wayne Resnick for taking care of us on holidays. And also, just because.

And, of course, everyone who reads I Heart Talk Radio. You guys are all major studs and hot chicks!

Labor Day? More like Super Awesome Day

So what are you doing tomorrow? Sleeping in? Going to the beach? Partying with your cousins? Neighborhood barbecue and last-minute haircuts and back to school shopping?

Well this is what I’m doing and what you should do too, if you want to be cool like me.

What? I’m cool. I’m not a repressed English major who spends too much time listening to talk radio and not enough time getting her belly button pierced and going to Cancun. Sheesh!

So tomorrow…

5-9am  Wayne Resnick fills in for Bill Handel on KFI

9-12pm  Marc Germain fills in for Frosty, Heidi and Frank on KABC

12-3pm  Um…I don’t know. Bill Carroll’s on for an extra hour on KFI if you’re into him. I’ll probably read by the pool.

3-7pm  Conway and Steckler fill in for John and Ken on KFI

7pm-bedtime  It’s all about Don Draper, Dexter Morgan and Mikael Blomkvist.

Oh, and probably a little chocolate with sea salt. And wine.

Fine, fresh, fierce

So, everyone knows I heart Wayne Resnick. It’s a long-standing heartship. I can barely recall a time that I did not listen to his show on KFI.

And because Randy and Gina seem to be infiltrating KFI (in a good way), they recently had Wayne as a guest on the Pretty Good Podcast. (Episode #303) Such a great show – you gotta listen to it.

Wayne talked about how he broke into the radio business by composing an unsolicited theme song for Joe Crummey and Randy played all the theme songs Wayne wrote for the various Conway and Whitman/PGP podcasts.

In a ‘cobbler’s son has no shoes’ kind of way, I thought that maybe someone should write a theme song for Wayne. And that person should NOT be me.

I’d love to and everything but I’m self-aware enough to realize I’m no Katy Perry***. I mean, yeah – if you need someone to write you some super sexy and awesome user manuals for your software application, I’m totally your girl. (Gurl?) But music and clever rhyming schemes aren’t my strength.

Oh wait! Wayne already wrote a bunch of cool theme songs for now-defunct podcasts. Why can’t I just use one of those and change the lyrics? Like a Recycle – Reduce – Reuse thing. I AM pro-environment after all.

OK, it won’t be as good as Wayne’s but – really – what could be?

Wayne Resnick Theme

To the tune of the Conway and Whitman Bodcast Theme (Standard or Alternative edition) by Wayne Resnick

Resnick is talented as hell
Obama black or white
Every Saturday night
Wayne has got a secret job
All we’ll ever know is his cat’s got a blog
It’s Wayne-o Resnick
Effin stud doing those fill-ins for you
Wayne-o Resnick
Come on everyone let’s play the Heavy Petting tune
Resnick then Punnett
Blotter Time
Nothing else rhymes
It’s Wayne-o Resnick
Without him we’d be screwed
Without him we’d have to listen to Handel

***Did you know if you google heroes born in california the #1 result is Katy Perry? It’s true. And disturbing.

Hugs not drugs

I have a very exciting night of roasted artichoke hearts and So You Think You Can Dance ahead of me, but I didn’t want to forget to tell you this.

Wayne Resnick is a Guitar God and a Great Talk Show Host.

And he’s on show #15 of the Brian Whitman podcast. And if you click that link you can see a picture of two major studs in Randy Wang’s bed. Hey – I don’t know what you’re into…

Seriously, it was a fantastic show and I <3 <3 <3 Wayne Resnick.

Oh, and if you’ve got a real KFI jones, also check out show #14 with Bill Handel and the morning crew. I know what you’re saying – “I hate Bill Handel and his liberal pro-Israel rants.” I get it. I’m pretty sick of him myself. But luckily for everyone, Bill gets all ADD in the middle of this interview and splits.

It was awesome.

And Brian David Whitman – you’re the effing best, maaan. I said it.

In the bleak midwinter

OK, who’s bored yet? I am. I have…let’s see…NO new podcasts on my iPod. Thank goodness for all the high quality literature I’m reading on my new Kindle. (Shhh…please don’t tell my NerdPR friends I’m reading this crap.)

But I have managed to scrounge up some other holiday recommendations for you guys.

Pretty Good Podcast Christmas Special

What a special treat – gift exchange, holiday songs, Aunt Edna – it doesn’t get better than this. Good job, Randy and Gina!!

Marc Germain back live this week

BTW, remember when Tootie suddenly decided she wanted people to call her by her real name – Dorothy? It didn’t work. Because it’s just weird. That’s how I feel calling Mr. KABC Marc. Just weird.

Anyway, Mr. K, Dan Avey, Dina Losito, even Rob Marinko and Sharon the Gossip Mom, are all back live tonight on Talk Radio One.

KFI fill-in hosts

Gary Hoffman in for Bill Handel in the morning, Wayne Resnick in for Bill Handel in the afternoon, and Tim Conway, Jr. (the sexiest man in talk radio) in for John and Ken. Awesome.

(Do you think we can we get someone to fill in for Bryan Suits?)

Doug McIntyre in for Joe Scarborough

Monday – Wednesday this week 10pm-midnight on KABC. (I think I like these fill-in hosts way better than the originals.)

This American Life – A Very Special Sedaris Christmas

A rerun but enjoyable nonetheless. Some classic David Sedaris Christmas tales, a holiday letter read by Julia Sweeney, and why A Christmas Carol sucks.